While you were sleeping I tossed and I turned...

I want to go punch things. I'm so pissed off.

I'm sick of things.

ARGH!

I'm kind of lost. And by kind of I mean I am.
Where am I at this point, and when am I going to find myself again?
When am I going to look into the mirror and see me?

BEST. EVER.

21:51] eshilon: I JUST HAD THE BEST BREAK UP EVER
[21:51] guitarist946: hah
[21:51] eshilon: He broke up with me, I said good, because I wanted to break up with him too[21:51] eshilon: Then we made cookies
[21:51] guitarist946: ahahahahahaha
[21:51] eshilon: And we ate cookie dough off each others fingers
[21:51] eshilon: And then we danced
[21:51] eshilon: And then we made some more cookies.
[21:51] eshilon: And then we hugged and he left.

Evan is pretty awesome. ;D
Tonight was a lot of fun.

I wonder.

Have you ever felt like just laying there was enough? No need to move or to feel? No need to be hungry or tired or high or jazzed or happy or sad or tripped out or alive or dead or anything except being there and laying down? Like the air was enough to keep you sustained forever and the music was swooping just softly enough for it to touch you but not force itself upon you? For the things in life to exist but be somewhere else? For you to not care if you got out of bed or not because you would get up if you did and lay down if you didn't, so it just was? So you were blank but not empty but not exactly full either? Instead you were more like full of nothing in particular and it all just sort of existed and happened to be there? Just as if you could lay there in your body and your bed and your room and look at the ceiling even though you weren't really looking at anything at all? Just, everything was and everything is?

Hey there.

The game last night was interesting I suppose.
Too bad that I couldn't go sit next to Evan.

Stevenson homecoming is tonight and my face is angrily broken out. We don't really have a distinct plan, but I bet it is all going to turn out fine because that is how it always happens. I need to get ready but I'm avoiding it. I don't want to go jump in the shower or anything. Maybe I will after this.

I have no clue where my parents are, but this really isn't any new news. They are often gone and don't tell me where they are going. They are probably on a walk or golfing or something. I wish that they were home though, my mom said she was going to paint my nails. Hopefully my mom actually called to get my boutonniere.

I'm realizing a lot more lately that I am getting older. I've noticed things that I do, or feelings I get, or basically other little things like that which make me realize that I am growing up. For instance, Liz and I went out to dinner together and for the first time I felt like it would have been perfectly normal for me to have just grabbed the keys and drive us myself instead of with my mom. Not to mention it was just the two of us talking in a restaraunt at dinner time which wouldn't have happened a year or two ago. Just little things like that make me realize. Then other little things make me wonder if I'm wasting time that is passing. I really hope that I'm not. I want to do what I want to do so I enjoy life. I hope that is what I am doing.