Katie from Horton Hears a Who! is the best, after Jojo.

To tell you the truth I don't have that much to say, but I feel like my last post needs to have something after it already, and knowing me this post will end up being 20 pages long anyways. So, I really should never tell someone that I don't have much to say, because how often does that turn out to be true?

I'm oddly excited for a party at Jimmy's house. I have to admit that I really wish Jake could go though. Had he called his dad earlier, yes, he probably could have gone, and hung out with me longer, but that's okay. It's really not his fault, we dozed off. Though, still, I really wish that he would be there. Ahh well. I'm rather excited for it anyways. I'm glad that I'm going to be with a lot of my friends, I'm not totally sure who all exactly, but it should be a good time none the less, plus I haven't been to a party in a while, and I'm really crazying the atmosphere, you know? Not like, party hard, but like, party something, you know?

So, I have this idea that I really want to do, but I doubt I'd get enough support. Basically, this: You know how all the teenage magazines are all preppy? I want to make a gothier magazine for my friends, and their friends possibly. Like, get some people together, write articles, do photoshoots, but make it all a bit more Rimmel Underground and Hot Topic than Chanel and American Eagle. Just, something for us to look at and say we did, plus how cool would it be to see yourself in a magazine, even if it is just for your friends. Besides, it'd be something to do for fun, right? Not to mention you get to show off your style. I don't know though, if anyone finds this idea cool, than please, please, try to recruit people, becasue I'm serious about this, I really want to do it.

Hmm.
By the way.



If that shows. Well...I think you understand. Jojo is the coolest thing ever. So is Katie. Not me.

Thank you for cutting off my breathing.

I love being completely estatic. It is such a wonderful feeling; feeling as if nothing can bring you down. Perhaps sometimes it is a bit of a niave feeling, but a great one just the same. How glad I am to be feeling it right now.
I feel like I'm floating and spinning and completely out of control, but in a good way. I want to dance. I want to prance around rooftops and swim in Mountain Dew. I'm invinsible. Nothing can hurt me. I am lion, here me roar [grawr!]. The little things that normally poke at me are completely forgotten. I am in a state of joy, and I think know I like it.
So what, you might ask, is causing me this state of euphoria [no, not the euphio m'dear]?
It's the clogged feeling in my throat.
It's the marks on my back.
It's the wind in my hair.
It's the crack to my whip.
You'll never know.

Dance amongst the flowers with me.
Daydream. I fell asleep amid the flowers, for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day...

...

A blog is a sad replacement for a human.






Where did reality run off to now?

Chelsea Cole, I love you.

Did you ever once think you were going to end up this way when you were in fourth grade? Did you ever think, "I'm going to be the girl sitting on the computer at midnight who is trying to get her life in check before life checks her?" Did you ever think that you were going to be the strongest, tallest one moment, and then crumble for just an instant, and realize that you're only half the size you were before, and you have to work yourself up again? Did you ever think about anything that you find to be real?
What makes some people able to have long, rambling, "deep" discussions and others not? What seperates us from the rest of the world who is afriad of what lies within them, and hides from strong feelings? Why is it that some people seem more capabale of feeling the extreme than others, and that we lead our lives differently? Am I wrong about this fact? No, I'm not saying that others don't feel, but they don't feel the same, if that makes any sense. Do I ever make any sense?
Do we need the people that we surround ourselves with? Why do I want to rest my head on your chest and cry sometimes, and other times I want to rest my head on your chest and feel all the joy in the world? Why can I not keep my emotions in check, even when I'm calm? And that's the thing. I'm calm right now, I'm not feeling sad, I'm just feeling with no particular feeling at all. I'm the hypocrtical oxymoron, and anything you call me is a misnomer. I'm what I am but I don't know what that is, and who can?

No one saved us,
No ones gonna save us now...
[taking lyrics out of context]

Where do I lie in my life? Why do I write posts like these everytime I'm feeling good? Why do I drag myself back under? Why do I force myself to feel? I think I need to cry. I think I need to cry despite having no reason to cry. I think that I need to get one last, good, true, cry out before I can continue to improve, before I can get past this, this...this nothing that is holding me back.

Heh.
And how my mood changes when I start trying to describe Justin and Colin to someone.
Oh the ways of my mind.
Oh captain, my captian.

Colin Sharples is my Hero

How had I not noticed that so much time had gone by? Hadn't it only been a week ago that I had updated my blog last? Perhaps not, or should I say, obviously not.
What has happened since my last post.
I'm really not sure, but I can say that I believe that I've changed as a person. Yes, I know, it hasn't been that long, but I can tell you, its been that long for me. So who am I now, in this instant? I am not going to explain, because explaining would be useless. I am in the process of changing, and telling you the steps along the way is just going to confuse you about the end result. Expect a nice lengthy post when I know where I am.

Know where I am
Haunting.
Know where I have been
and am.
Know where my brain goes in the night
To your arms.
To whose arms?
To what arms?
Can they hold me,
or must I hold myself?
No one can,
No one
can,
No one can tell me.
Only I can know.
Stop trying.
Coherancy.

What the hell am I saying?