"I hate when good people hate themselves"- Jake

I doubt myself too much.
I have been spazzy, paranoid and freaking out lately. I complained to Teri about all my worries, and she told them all to Jake. Normally I would have gotten angry at this, but I sort of wanted him to know how I felt. Unfortunately this made him worry that I don't trust him, and don't trust what he says (as in, I love you).
That is so incredibly wrong though. I do trust him, I just doubt myself, so I told him so, and I hoped that it wouldn't affect us. He said it would though, because it's not good for me to doubt myself. I agree, but as me and a friend of mine says, it's a hard habit to pull yourself out of. It's hard to NOT doubt yourself once you've started. But I want to not doubt myself, and I promised Jake that I would think more positively. Can you imagine how angry I would be with myself if I let my "temporary ignorance" (his words) ruin our relationship? Imagine how you would feel if you accidentally set the house on fire and everyone in there except you died. Horrible. That is sort of what I think I would be feeling.
But I don't need to feel horrible. I need to feel positive, I need to feel confident. I need to look at the good aspects of myself, not the bad. I have to stop thinking that everyone thinks I'm a scary freak. I should be able to look at all the friends I have and go, "obviously, SOME people don't" and that should be that. And it will be. I will be able to look around and feel good about myself. And I will be able to soon.
All I have to do is change my way of thinking, and I'll be all set...and I will do it. :]